Last week a madman entered a crèche, murdered two babies and a childcare worker who wanted to protect them and stabbed, wounded and injured several other infants.

Immediately press hounds swept the area trying to find a witness and as there weren't any around anybody who wanted to say anything to a camera was fine as well. One guy had heard from somebody who had heard from nobody that the psychopath had painted his face white and his eyes black.

“Scream!”, the press screamed in unison until another retard found out that Heath Ledger, who had played the joker in a Batman movie, had exactly died one year ago (obviously that imbecile had the date wrong). Before anybody with a brain the size of a eurocent could tell this was utterly rubbish the joker scenario had flooded the airwaves. Try to Google it and you see what I mean.

Television journalists of the male kind had visible erections and those of the female species had to swap pantyliners by the dozen. Lawyers, shrinks, movie specialists and utterly unimportant talk show guests were whipped into the studio to give their petty opinions about the joker-killer. Also on Belgian official television station One.

Then came the news that the man had never been in disguise but had just looked very pale with dark hollow eyes. One journalist wiped away some ejaculation stains from her pantaloon and immediately fantasized that the killer was a gothic, a subspecies of the human race dressed in black and loving dark and moody music, and whose main preoccupations are slaughtering innocent babies in small province towns.

I nearly pissed my pants from laughing as I realized that the Belgian government had narrowly escaped from a bloodbath. Inge Vervotte, who resigned as a federal minister of Civil Service and Public Enterprises in December, once admitted that she had been a gothic girl in her schooldays. Probably she had the decency of leaving the government before her urge for blood took over.

Yesterday the mayor of Dendermonde declared that any journalist, although he called them vultures, trying to enter the church at the funerals would be immediately arrested. The league of whorenalists didn’t understand why. They were simply doing their job, weren’t they?